What’s Your Go-To Stress Response?

How understanding your stress response can transform your relationships.

Stress is not going anywhere. Thankfully, our bodies have developed amazing, sophisticated mechanisms to help us cope with stress. Sometimes, these can get in the way.

As our autonomic nervous system activates, research shows that our physiology catapults us into one of four categories of stress response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Often, we find ourselves amid the stress response before we even know it. And for many of us, there’s a comfort zone when it comes to our stress response, too.

I am a life-long conflict avoider, with a far higher tendency to find myself in flight, freeze or fawn mode. For others, fight mode (which can look like attack but also defense) is their absolute comfort zone. They’ll find themselves getting right into their most strident selves, often causing hurt and escalating the conflict before they’ve even realized it.

For all of us, these responses are natural. We have often learned in early life which one is the best tactic for us. And, by building a stronger understanding of these responses and which one is our go to, we can drastically improve our self-awareness, communication skills and the relationships we have with self and others.