Member-only story
shame and burnout
Personal thoughts on a dangerous duo.
Sometimes I wonder what kept me caught on the path to burnout, and then in burnout.
I wondered this out loud to a friend, recently.
“I was in denial. Like, FULL denial.”
She nodded. “And what caused the denial?”
I’d never asked myself that question. The first word that came up?
“Shame.”
As our conversation continued, it became stunningly clear to me. Shame about burning out as a corporate lawyer— about what I perceived as weakness and failure — prevented me from reaching out for help. Until reaching out for help was the only option left.
Identifying shame
Shame is a murky emotion. It masks truth, defies facts, overrides evidence.
Sure, you are exhausted. But that’s because you’re weak. You must not stop. You will not be valuable or worthy until there’s nothing left to give.
Shame stopped me releasing myself from misery.
It told me repeatedly that this — my exhaustion, cynicism, reduced efficacy and loss of self-identity — was all my fault.
